Happiness in Eternal Marriage

Opening Song: I love to see the Temple  https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/music/library/childrens-songbook/i-love-to-see-the-temple?lang=eng

Opening Prayer:

Read Scripture: D&C 42:22 " Thou shalt love thy wife with all thy heart"

This certainly applies in context to husbands as well. President Ezra Taft Benson taught that love between husband and wife must "occupy a high and holy status," because the only other thing we are commanded to love with all our heart above all things is God himself (Duncan, S., and Zasukha, S.S., 2012).

From the beginning "marriage between a man and woman is ordained of God" and is "essential to His eternal plan" (Church of Jesus Christ, 1995,para. 8). The Family: A Proclamation to the World also expresses ways in which a couple can build a successful enduring marriage. One is that "husbands and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other" (Church of Jesus Christ, 1995,para. 6).

Love and Friendship is a foundational process for an eternal marriage (Duncan, S.F., McCarty-Zasuka, S.S., 2012). These are important aspects of feeling connected as a couple. Without Jesus Christ, as the head of the relationship, it risks failure. Look at the chart to get a visual of this:

Elder David A. Bednar said, "the Ultimate blessings of love and happiness are obtained through the covenant relationship of eternal marriage" (Bednar, 2006). Jesus is at the top of the triangle and the man and the woman at each side of the base. As each individual draws closer to they become closer together, drawing nearer to Christ.


Activity: Make a list of 10 ways we can show love to someone we care about. Share your list with each other. Discuss why these are important and why they are necessary for healthy relationships.


Video: After sharing and discussing your lists watch the following video by Richard G. Scott's. Pay attention to the ways in which he and his wife connect through healthy thoughts and actions.

(Watch between 6:00 mins and 10:30 mins)

Discussion: In what ways did their interactions coincide with how the proclamation describes the definition of maintaining a successful marriage?

See the Proclamation to the World here:  https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/scriptures/the-family-a-proclamation-to-the-world/the-family-a-proclamation-to-the-world?lang=eng

 

Marriage is an amazing arrangement for God's plan for eternal families. As we know in many different circumstances in life some things will not always be easy.

 

Read Scripture: 2 Nephi 2:11. The prophet Lehi explains that there must be opposition in all things for good things to be brought to pass. In order to maintain successful marriages, couples need to know how to handle differences that will arise with respect and love. When they can do this their connection will increase and healthy marriages become stronger. John Gottman expresses that couples need to have positive emotions and avoid negative interactions that hurt a marriage (Gottman, J.M., 1994). He has identified four destructive interaction patterns in couples that cause great harm to marriages called the "four horsemen of the apocalypse" (Gottman, J.M., 1994). 

Video: Watch a deeper explanation of how these types of behaviors affect marriages. 

Discussion: Gottman gives recommendations to avoid these types of behaviors. No matter our age we will always deal with many others. Even outside of our marital relationships you will have to deal with managing your emotions when you are with other people in conflict.

What do you struggle within your life in regards to these four deadly horsemen?

Activity: Write down one goal that will help you in being more connected with those you have conflict within your life.

One suggestion in the Successful Marriages and Family textbook is that we spend at least 5 hours a week strengthing our relationship (Duncan, S., and Zasukha, S.S., 2012). When couples take the time to connect and make repair attempts their lives will be happier and they will be more drawn to Christ.

Read: the following quote by Elder F. Burton Howard, "If you want something to last forever, you treat it differently" (Hawkins, A.J. 2012). Take a moment to ponder this quote. 

Testimony: 

I believe that marriage is ordained of God and is essential to our eternal progression. I know that for my own failed marriage it was because Christ was not the focal point in our relationship. Choose your partner wisely. Make goals to be married to a spouse who loves God above everything. When you find a partner whose goals and values align with your make it a goal to be married in the temple for time and all eternity. Children need two parents who love each other in Christ. Families are successful when founded upon the teachings of Jesus Christ (Church of Jesus Christ, 1995, para. 7). We have been warned that if we do not adhere to the teachings taught in the proclamation we will stand accountable before God for the disintegration of our families (Church of Jesus Christ, 1995, para. 7).

Closing Song: Where Love is 

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/music/library/childrens-songbook/where-love-is?lang=eng

Closing Prayer

References

Marriage Is Essential to His Eternal Plan. (2006). Churchofjesuschrist.org. https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2006/06/marriage-is-essential-to-his-eternal-plan?lang=eng

Duncan, S., and Zasukha, S.S., “Foundational processes for an enduring, healthy marriage.” (2012), In Hawkins, A. J., In Dollahite, D. C., & In Draper, T., Successful Marriages and Families: Proclamation Principles and Research Perspectives.

Christ, J. (2011). Elder Richard G. Scott - The Eternal Blessings of Marriage [YouTube Video]. In YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QDNAZ6zXeXA

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