Wholesome Recreation Strengthens Families

 Opening Song: The Family is of God (The Friend, October, 2018)

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/media/video/2014-01-0070-the-family-is-of-god?lang=eng

Opening Prayer:

    There are lots of ways we can spend time with our families but is the quality and quantity of time that matters the most. This time spent needs to be meaningful and prepared for, it doesn't just happen. 

Families spend much wasted time on things such as electronics and social media. They spend less time exercising, work too much, and are don't spend enough time outdoors. When families choose wholesome recreational activities they strengthen relationships. This also reduces negative consequences towards families such as emotional and spiritual voids (Widmer, M. and Taniguchi, S.T., 2012). 

    When family members get too wrapped up in personal hobbies and recreation it takes away time from their loved ones. Many times people desire to use these personal activities to fill a void of happiness. They then tend to find themself not satisfied at all and look for ways to fill the void with more things that do not bring true happiness. They can find true pleasure and happiness when they choose to spend their free time in recreational activities with their family (Widmer, M. and Taniguchi, S.T., 2012). 

    In The Family: A Proclamation to the World, President Gordon B. Hinckley emphasized an important truth for successful families when he said that they are based on those who spend time in wholesome recreational activity.

Video: Watch the following two videos of families who are doing great family activities; dinner and a hike. Which of them seems to be a more wholesome use of time with these great activity ideas? If one needs improvement, how might they do differently next time? 

Family #1 Dinner 

Family #2 Hike

Activity: Give the family time to think of their favorite family activity or an activity they would like to do. Give each a piece of paper and have them draw their activity. Each family member then takes turns having the rest of the family guess what their activity is or was. Share stories of some of the most enjoyable activities you have done. If you don't have many memories yet create a list of adventures you would like to do as a family and post it on the calendar. 

    There are many benefits of spending time together as a family besides quality time. When families spend time outdoors it has a direct influence on their physical and health and wellbeing. It reduces stress and helps with behaviors in children with ADHD. Families can reconnect and it helps to resolve any conflicts that may be troubling them (Widmer, M. and Taniguchi, S.T., 2012).

    When planning activities for your family make sure they are wholesome and have value. Not all activities cost money, in fact, many are free and easy to plan in your own town. You can turn these activities into new family traditions. One simple activity would be going for a family walk after dinner. This is a good time to have discussions on how things are going in individuals' lives. While walking you can also observe nature, pick up litter, you could even do an object treasure hunt for items you would see out and about such as a bike, red car, brown dog, a bluebird, etc.  

    Families could also read together. This can be done in regular family scripture studies or bedtime stories. They could create and write a play to act out, do chores together, or work in a garden. It could be a service activity to help others. They could learn new hobbies together or perhaps build a tree fort or sandcastle. There are many ideas! 

Wholesome recreational activities with families help to develop positive identities. Family members who spent time together also have a better chance of high well-being and develop many positive character traits. They are creative, curious, love to learn, are persistent, have integrity and kindness, are good citizens, forgive, have humility, gratitude, and are spiritual (Widmer, M. and Taniguchi, S.T., 2012).

Scripture Story: Read 2 Nephi Chapter 5 together

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/scriptures/bofm/2-ne/5?lang=eng 

or paraphrase the following story.

    The Lord told Nephi to take his family in the wilderness to escape the Lamanites who were not making good choices and wanted to hurt the. As he lead his family for many days towards safety they were obedient to the commandments of the Lord. They worked hard together to make their new lives comfortable. They grew food, tended to their animals, built buildings (including a temple), studied and lived the gospel together. They were blessed for their efforts, as Nephi said, they "lived after the manner of happiness."

Testimony:

    The way we live in families matters. If we want to have happiness in our lives we must do so in the company of our family. We will find happiness in working with our families just as Nephi did. We will be blessed beyond measure. The Lord will help us make the time to spend with our families if we have a desire to make it a priority in our lives. The Family: A Proclamation to the World is a valuable resource to all. In its principles, we will find true lasting happiness in this life and in the life to come. I am grateful for my own family and for the one I was raised in. The family traditions I made in my family growing up have helped me to fulfill connections with my children today. I am thankful for the gospel of Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father's plan that families are forever. 

    Invite all family members to share their testimony on the importance of families spending time together. Make it a goal for the next month to intentionally spend one day a week for 2-4 hours spending time as a family. For more ideas on fun activities review this link: 

https://www.verywellfamily.com/absolutely-free-activities-for-kids-2997490

Closing Song: Famlies can be together Forever (Children's Songbook 188)

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/music/library/hymns/families-can-be-together-forever?lang=eng

Closing Prayer: 

References

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. (1995). The Family: A Proclamation to the World. https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/scriptures/the-family-a-proclamation-to-the-world/the-family-a-proclamation-to-the-world?lang=eng

Widner, M. and Taniguchi, S.T., “Wholesome recreation: building strong families” (2012), In Hawkins, A. J., In Dollahite, D. C., & In Draper, T., Successful Marriages and Families: Proclamation Principles and Research Perspectives.

The Most Important Work...

 Opening Song: Put Your Shoulder to the Wheel (Hymnal 252)

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/music/library/hymns/put-your-shoulder-to-the-wheel?lang=eng

Opening Prayer:

Scripture: Romans 8:28 And we know that all things work together for the good to them that love God, to them who are called according to his purpose.

    Discuss the meaning of the quote above with the family. What does this mean to each of you in the family? Take turns giving replies. 

    Working together as families started with Adam and Eve. They were commanded by God to til the earth, to have children and take care of them. We are still commanded to this day to do this with our families. Working with our families helps us to love one another and brings us closer to Jesus Christ. 

    The Family: A Proclamation to the World says it is our solemn responsibility and a sacred duty for parents to care for each other and their children. Working together on principles based on the gospel of Jesus Christ will help families be successful (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, 1995, para. 6-7). 

Read paragraphs 6 & 7 here: https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/scriptures/the-family-a-proclamation-to-the-world/the-family-a-proclamation-to-the-world?lang=eng

    Because work is a principle and commandment of the Lord we must strive to work together with our families often. Working with our families creates strong bonds, connections, and love for one another. It is not always easy to get everyone involved in the idea that working and spending time together is fun. Having a positive attitude is key. 

Activity: Make a list of fun things you like to do with your family or that you would like to do with your family. How does it make you feel when you work together? How does this affect the family when one or more members do not want to work together? What might you do as a family to help encourage them to join in? 

    It is important that we are patient with our family members who may be having a hard time creating new patterns in our family that might not be familiar. When we show love we can show we care. Working with an unwilling family member may be as easy as serving them first. Once they feel your love they may be more inclined to join in with serving with you. 

    Working can be fun, so can spending that quality time together. Take a few minutes together to review the following link for more ideas:

https://www.ldsliving.com/50-sabbath-day-activities-your-family-will-love/s/81216

    Long ago (before industrialization) families spent much time together working from home. They had farms or they would sell homemade goods or products they grew or produced from their homes. In the 1900s children worked beside their parents to help provide and support food and shelter for their family. Over time fathers started going to work for pay and mothers and children were left home to tend to the needs of the home life. In our day, many mothers now work and families need to be more intentional about their time together in order to connect and build relationships that came so easily from working side by side in the past (Bahr, Manwaring, et al., 2012).

    Working and spending quality time together is one way to do this. If everyone works together the load is made lighter. Working together does not have to be looked at as work. It can be recognized as moments and opportunities for families to spend time together, getting to know each other better just as families did so easily long ago. 

Read Scripture: Matthew 11:28-30 Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly of heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. 

    This invitation from the Savior in how He will carry our load is an example of how we too can carry one another's. He is the perfect example for love and connection in working with others. 

Video: Watch the following video on the importance of being yoked together. Think of ways that you could try harder in your family to equally yoke yourself so that you can all work together in unity. 

Testimony: 

    When I was growing up it was difficult for my family to find harmony in working together. My parents tried so hard to make this a priority in our lives. It wasn't always easy and we weren't perfect at it. Sometimes there was a lot of love. Sometimes there was less love. I come from a large family and at times it was hard to even fit into one car to go somewhere because there were so many of us. I remember one Christmas my family worked hard in preparation to serve another family in need. My sisters and I helped wrap presents for them. My parents bought and prepared food. We all helped to assemble our humble gifts. We took the boxes of food and gifts in a Santa sack and drove to their home and left them quietly on their porch. I can still picture my brothers dashing to their door and my dad driving away quickly after they jumped back in the van. My oldest brother called the family and said in the best Santa voice he could muster that he had just dropped off a surprise outside. We were so excited to work together as a family to bring joy to another that Christmas. 

    There are many ways to work together as a family. We will not always be perfect at it but the Lord knows when we make the effort to connect and bond. He will support us in building strong family connections because families are important to Heavenly Father's plan of happiness. 

    It is hard today with our busy families to find time to work and spend quality time together, but when we make it a priority it will be the most important work we can do within the walls of our home, just as President Harold B. Lee quoted above (Chapter 14: Love at Home, 2011).

    

    To find more on strengthening greater love at home please read his more of his teachings found here:

 https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/teachings-harold-b-lee/chapter-14?lang=eng

Closing Song: Have I done any good in the world today (Hymnal 223)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KG63nu4VMpc

Closing Prayer

References

Bahr, K., Manwaring, K., Loveless, C., Bahr, E., “The Meanings and Blessings of Family Work” (2012), In Hawkins, A. J., In Dollahite, D. C., & In Draper, T. Successful Marriages and Families: Proclamations Principles and Research Perspectives.

Chapter 14: Love at Home. (2011). Churchofjesuschrist.org. https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/teachings-harold-b-lee/chapter-14?lang=eng

 

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. (1995). The Family: A Proclamation to the World. https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/scriptures/the-family-a-proclamation-to-the-world/the-family-a-proclamation-to-the-world?lang=eng

Parenting with Love

 Opening Song: Love at Home (Hymnal 294)

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/music/library/hymns/love-at-home?lang=eng

Opening Prayer:

Scripture: Mosiah 4: 14-15 And ye will not suffer your children that they go hungry, or naked; neither will ye suffer that they transgress the laws of God, and fight and quarrel one with another, and serve the devil, who is the master of sin, or who is the evil spirit which hath been spoken of by our fathers, he being an enemy to all righteousness.

But ye will teach them to walk in the ways of truth and soberness; ye will teach them to love one another, and to serve one another.

The Family: A Proclamation to the World is a guideline for parents and how they can have a profound influence on their children's lives. When parents are committed to following proper parental rearing and upbringing individual lives prosper and progress in a healthy manner. 

    How we are raised is important, it reflects on our own parenting styles. These can have a profound influence on the upbringing of children. 

Parenting researcher Diana Baumrind believes that parenting styles are closely related to a child's behavior (Nelson. D., 2012).

The way children are parented will result in different outcomes. Look at this chart on Baumrind's breakdown of four parenting styles below:

Discussion: Go through the different parenting styles shown here as a family. Which parenting style do you think correlates with The Family: A Proclamation to the World? 

If you need to review the Proclamation, do so here:

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/scriptures/the-family-a-proclamation-to-the-world/the-family-a-proclamation-to-the-world?lang=eng

    Children need to be taught, loved, and nurtured by their parents to create happy families. Without this children suffer in development and the skills necessary to live a healthy and productive life. The authoritative parenting style creates the most positive outcome for children's well-being. 

    President Bednar has taught that parents need to create opportunities "to be watchful and discerning concerning their children." If parents are in tune with their children and their activities they can help direct and teach them. A parent's relationship with their children is important. A child's peers are also important in the adolescent years. When parents practice healthy parenting children will choose appropriate friends. It is still important that parents are involved in their children's lives so that they choose good peer relationships. Parents who are involved in their children's lives can observe and monitor the possibility of unhealthy relationships patterns and offer support when needed (Nelson. D., 2012).

    Authoritative parenting creates a space for children to feel comfortable with their parents. When this occurs children are more receptive to their parent's influence. Elder Robert D. Hales said that "the key to strengthening our families is having the Spirit of the Lord in our homes"(Strengthening Families: Our Sacred Duty, 2021). 

    Parenting children with love and discipline also falls under the authoritative parenting style. This is described by Baumrind as "firm, direct, forceful, and consistent" discipline. The prophets of the church have never condoned physical punishments to children. Children who are raised by parents with power and psychological control do not create the balance of love that authoritative parenting brings. This style risks damage to family relationships and to a child's self-worth (Nelson. D., 2012).

Scripture: Read and discuss the meaning of this scripture. How does it match the Authoritative parenting style?

D&C 121:41-43 No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of the priesthood, only by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned;

By kindness, and pure knowledge, which shall greatly enlarge the soul without hypocrisy, and without guile, 

Reproving betimes with sharpness, when moved upon by the Holy Ghost; and then showing forth afterwards an increase of love toward him whom thou hast reproved, lest he esteem thee to be his enemy. 

Video: Watch the following video of a family who knows how to make each day a good day based on the principles based on authoritative parenting and as taught in The Family: A Proclamation to the World. 

Activity: Write down some ways that you can do better in your roles as a parent or a child to create a better environment where the spirit can dwell in your home. 

Testimony: Raising children based on the teachings of the gospel of Jesus Christ brings greater happiness in this life. I have been blessed to come from a home with goodly parents who taught and loved me. I know that the research on different styles of parenting and their outcomes is true based on evidence that I have seen in my own life and of others in my life. I am grateful that my upbringing taught me the correct way to raise my own children. Although I am not perfect I know that Heavenly Father does not expect us to be perfect. Raising children and being a parent gives us opportunities to increase our own personal development and growth. I know that our Heavenly Father loves us. He has entrusted us with our children here on Earth to help them progress and carry on healthy patterns to bless their own lives and many generations to come after them. Each one of us and our choices makes a difference because of that. 

Closing Song: I Feel My Savior's Love (Children's Songbook, 74)

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/music/library/childrens-songbook/i-feel-my-saviors-love?lang=eng

Closing Prayer:

References

Nelson, D., “Parenting in gospel context: practices do make a difference” (2012), In Hawkins, A. J., In Dollahite, D. C., & In Draper, T., Successful Marriages and Families: Proclimations Principles and Research Perspectives,.

Strengthening Families: Our Sacred Duty. (2021). Churchofjesuschrist.org. https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/1999/04/strengthening-families-our-sacred-duty?lang=eng

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Honoring Thy Father

 Opening Song: I Know My Father Lives (Hymnal 302)

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/music/library/hymns/i-know-my-father-lives?lang=eng

Opening Prayer: 

Scripture: Proverbs 4:1 "Hear, ye children, the instruction of a father, and attend to know understanding."

    

     President Ezra Taft Benson taught that a father's calling "is an eternal calling from which he is never released" (To the Fathers in Israel, 2021). What a blessed gift it is to be a father. It is a noble calling from our Heavenly Father. A father's role in the family can not be replaced by any other. In the Family: A Proclamation to the World we are also taught that "fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families" (Church of Jesus Christ, 1995). There are many principles and practices that make up a righteous father.

Fathers are to preside. 

    As seen in the Proclamation what does preside mean? (wait for some answers or descriptions, maybe even suggest they give some examples of the definition). Fathers who preside direct and lead their children and families with spiritual guidance. This is the highest duty and obligation of a father to help his family thrive in happiness and joy in the home. It is important that he does this always with "love and righteousness" (Botherson. S., 2012). Fathers should be teachers, examples, and strive to be a spiritual influence on their children. 

Fathers partner with their wives and children. 

Activity: Look to The Family: A Proclamation to the World and find the portion where it mentions this. https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/1995/10/the-family-a-proclamation-to-the-world?lang=eng

    Research has shown that the relationship that a father has with his children's mother is the "secret ingredient" that makes fathering the best recipe for success (Botherson. S., 2012).

When both parents can work together to fulfill their parental roles a healthy marriage makes this possible. Making decisions together helps create a healthy home. 

Fathers also can partner with their children. 

Discussion: What are ways a father can partner with his children? Here is a small list to add to:

• Listen to them
• Teach them new skills
• Correct them with love
• Spend quality time with them

    Fathers who take the time to connect with their children have a greater influence on their lives. Starting this at a young age and throughout their lives helps children grow into healthy adults and parents themselves. 

Fathers are to be present. 

    This is a strong element in the development of a child. A father can have a profound influence on his children when he is present in their lives. He can be impactful in helping them develop skills that will help them to grow up in righteousness and to be valued, responsible citizens. 

Video: Watch the following video on a current news story about a group of fathers who took a stand to show their presence in their children's school in Louisiana.  

Discussion: What are some things you noticed about these fathers and what impact they had on their community? It is important to also notice that they didn't just do this for their children. Their presence to show love, respect, and security for others was meant for all the children there, not just their own. Fathers have an obligation to be a presence of light and good in everyone's life around them. 

Fathers are to provide.

    Fathers are not only to provide spiritual needs for the children but physical as well. The Proclamation to the World, mentions that fathers are to provide necessities of life as well as protection (Church of Jesus Christ, 1995, para. 6). 

Scripture: Read D&C 75: 28 Verily I say unto you, that every man who is obliged to provide for his own family, let him provided, and he shall in nowise lose his crown.

A father who provides sets an example for future generations. A father who leads by example can help his children develop and learn to care for themselves and others. 

Fathers are to protect.

    Our greatest example for protection is our Savior, Jesus Christ. The Atonement helps us from the effects of pain in this life because of His sacrifice. Fathers who protect role model responsible and positive behaviors to their children by their example. When children learn from their fathers how to develop healthy righteous habits they will learn to protect themselves by making good choices throughout their lives. This helps them avoid unrighteous living as they grow and develop. 

Testimony: 

    My father and grandfather had profound influences in my life. I learned the gospel was important and would bless my life if I followed the teachings of Jesus Christ. They showed me how important it is to treat others, especially their wives. They provided a happy and safe environment in their homes. I felt protected there. The spirit was present where they were. They honored their priesthood and exercised it worthily. I was able to be blessed by this throughout my life. I am grateful for their worthiness to hold the priesthood and that they held all the qualities to honor their sacred calls as fathers.

(As you sing, listen to the words and reflect on the qualities you want to be as a father or the type of man you would want to marry to be the father of your children someday) 

Closing Song: Fathers (Children's Songbook, p. 209)

Closing Prayer:

References

To the Fathers in Israel. (2021). Churchofjesuschrist.org. https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/1987/10/to-the-fathers-in-israel?lang=eng

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. (1995). The Family: A Proclamation to the World. https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/scriptures/the-family-a-proclamation-to-the-world/the-family-a-proclamation-to-the-world?lang=eng

Brotherson, S., “Honoring thy father: key principles and practices in fathering” (2012), Hawkins, A. J., In Dollahite, D. C., & In Draper, T., Successful Marriages and Families: Proclamation Principles and Research Perspectives.

 

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Mothers: An Important Role in the Family

 Opening Song: I Often Go Walking (Children's Song Book, p.202)

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/music/library/childrens-songbook/i-often-go-walking?lang=eng

Opening Prayer: 

Scripture: Proverbs 22:6 "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it."

Read the following quote by President Nelson:

    Mothers have always had an important role in the world. Her influence is needed more now than ever, especially since the adversary works so hard today to break our families. Satan tries to devalue a mother's sacred responsibility by undervaluing her highest and noble calling. The demand that it takes to rear children is not always easy, but with Heavenly Father's help, it is absolutely possible. President Thomas S. Monson shared the following on the partnership mothers have with God:

(Behold Thy Mother, 2019)

Video: While watching the following video ponder on the love your mother has for you. 

Read: In The Family: A Proclamation to the World, it states, 

    "Husband and Wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. "Children are a heritage of the Lord" (Psalm 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live...

    " By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners" (Church of Jesus Christ, 1995, para. 6-7).

    Effective Mothering: A mothering scholar, Sara Ruddick shared ways in which a mother can be nurturing and attentive with her love. The first is preserving life. A mother's responsibility is to the well-being of her child's protection and growth. She nurtures her child by feeding, caring for, and keeping her child safe from dangers. 

    Mothers have a huge role in the healthy development of their children. As stated in The Family: A Proclamation to the World, mothers are nurturers (Church of Jesus Christ, 1995). Nurturing mothers create a healthy learning environment for their children in their daily routines from morning till eve. Another part of that healthy environment is a mother that meets the emotional needs of her children. It is important to teach children how to cope and feel their emotions, to know they are loved, listened to, and recognized as an important part of the family. 

    Teaching is also an important aspect of mothering children. The influences of mothers in this have profound effects on a child's development. Teaching in the home gives them tools to function outside of the home in society. Mothers have a huge impact on their children's well-being. Teaching the gospel in the home has a profound influence on children. Studies have shown that an LDS mother's quality of parenting is influenced by personal gospel-centered lives.  Mothers who fast, pray, study their scriptures, and invite the influence of the spirit into their lives through religion will have more success in their homes. They will feel more love and are less likely to fall into unhealthy parenting patterns (Erickson, J.J., 1995). 

Activity: As you pondered previously about your mother's love for you, make a list of those qualities and responsibilities you see she has. What are a few things you could do to support your mother in her sacred duties? Take time this week to notice all of the things your mother does for your family. Have your observations of your mother's role in your life changed your views or perceptions of her? 

You will never find a perfect mother. Each is unique with different talents and abilities. She has different children and each circumstance is unique. What makes a good mother is a love she deeply has for them and the love she has for God. 

Story:

    There was a time in my teenage years I was not making good choices. No matter where I was I always knew that my dear mother loved and prayed for me. I know my choices worried her greatly. Looking back I know that it was through her prayers on my behalf I was saved in a lot of ways from further pain and circumstances. 

    My mother raised me in the gospel of Jesus Christ. She taught me the principles of the gospel. Although for a time I didn't follow them, I always knew where I came from. I knew I had a Heavenly Father to whom I could pray. My prayers were sparse at that time but I knew that when I did pray, He was listening. I felt heard and loved by God. My mother taught me about the Savior all my life. I knew His love for me was the same whether I was making good choices or not. I felt His love for me many times throughout those years living outside of church standards.

     As I ran my course of poor decision-making, it was becoming a mother myself that led me back to Christ. My mother had laid the foundation for me in how I wanted to teach and raise my own children. I did not want to take on my role as a mother in any way other than how my mother raised me. My testimony is stronger because I had goodly parents who loved the Lord and followed the promptings of the spirit to love me just where I was until I chose to return.

Testimony: Experiencing a mother's love helped me know how to love my own children when I became a mother. I am grateful for her example because I feel as though I have been able to be a great blessing to the lives of my own children. Although not all my children are currently active in the church I know that my prayers for them are heard from a loving Heavenly Father. He loves them and is watching out for them just as he did me. 

    I am so thankful for a mother who loved me enough to not give up on me. Her example was where I laid my own foundation as a mother. I know that no matter where we go in life we have parents who love us. Whether for some of us that is our earthly parents or both, we are never alone because of their love and constant care for us. 

Closing Song: I am a Child of God (Hymnal, p.301)

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/music/library/hymns/i-am-a-child-of-god?lang=eng

Closing Prayer:

References

Behold Thy Mother. (2019). Churchofjesuschrist.org. https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/generalconference/2015/10/behold-thy-mother?lang=eng

Erickson, J., “Mothers are nurturers” (2012), Hawkins, A. J., In Dollahite, D. C., & In Draper, T., Successful Marriages and Families: Proclamation Principles and Research Perspectives.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. (1995). The Family: A Proclamation to the World. https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/scriptures/the-family-a-proclamation-to-the-world/the-family-a-proclamation-to-the-world?lang=eng

Happiness in Eternal Marriage

Opening Song: I love to see the Temple  https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/music/library/childrens-songbook/i-love-to-see-the-temple?lang=eng

Opening Prayer:

Read Scripture: D&C 42:22 " Thou shalt love thy wife with all thy heart"

This certainly applies in context to husbands as well. President Ezra Taft Benson taught that love between husband and wife must "occupy a high and holy status," because the only other thing we are commanded to love with all our heart above all things is God himself (Duncan, S., and Zasukha, S.S., 2012).

From the beginning "marriage between a man and woman is ordained of God" and is "essential to His eternal plan" (Church of Jesus Christ, 1995,para. 8). The Family: A Proclamation to the World also expresses ways in which a couple can build a successful enduring marriage. One is that "husbands and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other" (Church of Jesus Christ, 1995,para. 6).

Love and Friendship is a foundational process for an eternal marriage (Duncan, S.F., McCarty-Zasuka, S.S., 2012). These are important aspects of feeling connected as a couple. Without Jesus Christ, as the head of the relationship, it risks failure. Look at the chart to get a visual of this:

Elder David A. Bednar said, "the Ultimate blessings of love and happiness are obtained through the covenant relationship of eternal marriage" (Bednar, 2006). Jesus is at the top of the triangle and the man and the woman at each side of the base. As each individual draws closer to they become closer together, drawing nearer to Christ.


Activity: Make a list of 10 ways we can show love to someone we care about. Share your list with each other. Discuss why these are important and why they are necessary for healthy relationships.


Video: After sharing and discussing your lists watch the following video by Richard G. Scott's. Pay attention to the ways in which he and his wife connect through healthy thoughts and actions.

(Watch between 6:00 mins and 10:30 mins)

Discussion: In what ways did their interactions coincide with how the proclamation describes the definition of maintaining a successful marriage?

See the Proclamation to the World here:  https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/scriptures/the-family-a-proclamation-to-the-world/the-family-a-proclamation-to-the-world?lang=eng

 

Marriage is an amazing arrangement for God's plan for eternal families. As we know in many different circumstances in life some things will not always be easy.

 

Read Scripture: 2 Nephi 2:11. The prophet Lehi explains that there must be opposition in all things for good things to be brought to pass. In order to maintain successful marriages, couples need to know how to handle differences that will arise with respect and love. When they can do this their connection will increase and healthy marriages become stronger. John Gottman expresses that couples need to have positive emotions and avoid negative interactions that hurt a marriage (Gottman, J.M., 1994). He has identified four destructive interaction patterns in couples that cause great harm to marriages called the "four horsemen of the apocalypse" (Gottman, J.M., 1994). 

Video: Watch a deeper explanation of how these types of behaviors affect marriages. 

Discussion: Gottman gives recommendations to avoid these types of behaviors. No matter our age we will always deal with many others. Even outside of our marital relationships you will have to deal with managing your emotions when you are with other people in conflict.

What do you struggle within your life in regards to these four deadly horsemen?

Activity: Write down one goal that will help you in being more connected with those you have conflict within your life.

One suggestion in the Successful Marriages and Family textbook is that we spend at least 5 hours a week strengthing our relationship (Duncan, S., and Zasukha, S.S., 2012). When couples take the time to connect and make repair attempts their lives will be happier and they will be more drawn to Christ.

Read: the following quote by Elder F. Burton Howard, "If you want something to last forever, you treat it differently" (Hawkins, A.J. 2012). Take a moment to ponder this quote. 

Testimony: 

I believe that marriage is ordained of God and is essential to our eternal progression. I know that for my own failed marriage it was because Christ was not the focal point in our relationship. Choose your partner wisely. Make goals to be married to a spouse who loves God above everything. When you find a partner whose goals and values align with your make it a goal to be married in the temple for time and all eternity. Children need two parents who love each other in Christ. Families are successful when founded upon the teachings of Jesus Christ (Church of Jesus Christ, 1995, para. 7). We have been warned that if we do not adhere to the teachings taught in the proclamation we will stand accountable before God for the disintegration of our families (Church of Jesus Christ, 1995, para. 7).

Closing Song: Where Love is 

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/music/library/childrens-songbook/where-love-is?lang=eng

Closing Prayer

References

Marriage Is Essential to His Eternal Plan. (2006). Churchofjesuschrist.org. https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2006/06/marriage-is-essential-to-his-eternal-plan?lang=eng

Duncan, S., and Zasukha, S.S., “Foundational processes for an enduring, healthy marriage.” (2012), In Hawkins, A. J., In Dollahite, D. C., & In Draper, T., Successful Marriages and Families: Proclamation Principles and Research Perspectives.

Christ, J. (2011). Elder Richard G. Scott - The Eternal Blessings of Marriage [YouTube Video]. In YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QDNAZ6zXeXA

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Sharing and Defending Family Proclamation Principles

 Opening Song: Love is Spoken Here

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SmOEiAIQ874

Opening Prayer:

The Family: A Proclamation to the World is a resource given to help defend and protect families. As we learn the principles taught we can be better prepared to defend and teach these important truths. 

Read this quote from The Family: A Proclamation to the World: "We call upon responsible citizens...everywhere to promote those measures designed to maintain and strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society" (Church of Jesus Christ, 1995, para. 9).

Discussion: Do you consider yourself a responsible citizen? If so what do you suppose a responsible citizen does? 

Heavenly Father expects us to be committed to building His Kingdom here on Earth. He gave us agency, which is the ability to act and be responsible for the ways that can make a difference in our lives and the lives around us by how we live. 

Activity: Give everyone a copy of The Family: A Proclamation to the World and ask them to read it and highlight any of the responsibilities given by God that show our divine roles as His children.

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/scriptures/the-family-a-proclamation-to-the-world/the-family-a-proclamation-to-the-world?lang=eng

Discuss the things they highlighted. You might want to choose two or three to go into more depth with. Here are a few ideas to get you started. Propose questions on each to facilitate discussion on these sacred responsibilities. 

"Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan" (Church of Jesus Christ, 1995, para. 7).

Question: What do you know about God's eternal plan of Happiness? Why is it important to have opposite genders rear and raise families? Why is it important to have a father and mother who love and support each other? If this is not present at home how might this affect a family?

"Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony..." (Church of Jesus Christ, 1995, para. 7).

Question: Why do you think this is important? Can children who are not born to parents who are married have the same blessings as those who are? Why not?

"We declare that God's commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force" (Church of Jesus Christ, 1995, para. 4).

Question: Why is bringing children to the Earth important? How does this relate to Heavenly Father's Plan of Happiness?

Explain that the answers to all of these questions are why we have a sacred role to uphold them and defend them in our world today. 

Read a Quote by President Spencer W. Kimball: "The time will come when all those who believe deeply and actively in the family will be able to preserve their families in the midst of the gathering evil around us" (Hawkins. A.J, 2012).

This is a promise we are given by a prophet of the Lord. The Family: A Proclamation to the World is a resource to help us to defend and preserve our families and the sanctity of family on the Earth today. 

How can we do this?  Are you comfortable with this responsibility to defend the family? In your life, you will have instances to defend the principles found in the proclamation. Will you be ready? Let's practice some real-life situations. As we understand what is expected of us according to the principles given in the proclamation, we will be able to defend those principles with love and kindness. We can dismiss any malice that Satan gives to deceive us into contempt and hatred towards those who do not believe as we do. 

Role Play Activity: Share the following scenarios. Have family members reply how they would defend the principles taught in the proclamation and teachings of Jesus Christ. They might be willing to share parts of the proclamation to help support their answers. 

(These are examples of situations I have had in my youth):

• You are at school and your teacher asks the class about their personal view of abortion. A majority of the class raises their hand in support of pro-choice. Only you and one other student raise their hand in opposition. Do you take the opportunity to express your view or do you hide away because there are so many others who do not believe as you do? If you express your view in opposition what will you say to defend yourself without bringing in contempt or malice on such a sensitive topic?
• You find that in your 20's a lot of dating couples including some really close friends are starting to cohabitate (live together before marriage). You love your friends dearly and want to help them understand the views as given by the proclamation on this topic. What could you say to help them better understand the choice they make?
• One day you found out that your unmarried friend was expecting her second child out of wedlock. She was very concerned about this pregnancy as the father hasn't been around to support her first child. She feels that an abortion would be the best solution to her predicament. How would you support your friend at this difficult time and help her understand the importance and sanctity of life as given in the proclamation?

Testimony: Invite someone to share their testimony on what they have learned today or on an experience they have had in defending the sanctity of family according to the principles given in the proclamation. 

Closing Song: Love one Another https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/music/library/hymns/love-one-another?lang=eng

Closing Prayer:

References

 

Hawkins, A.J., “Sharing and Defending Family Proclamation Principles” (2012, pp. 354-358), Hawkins, A. J., In Dollahite, D. C., & In Draper, T., Successful Marriages and Families: Proclamation Principles and Research Perspectives.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. (1995). The Family: A Proclamation to the World. https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/scriptures/the-family-a-proclamation-to-the-world/the-family-a-proclamation-to-the-world?lang=eng